In a bowl, whisk together peanut butter, soy sauce, rice vinegar, chili crisp, sesame oil, honey, minced garlic, and lime juice. Gradually whisk in warm water 1 tablespoon at a time until smooth and drizzle-able.
Cook noodles according to package directions, drain, and immediately rinse under cold running water until completely chilled. Toss with a drizzle of sesame oil to keep them from sticking.
In a large mixing bowl (or directly on a large serving platter), toss cold noodles with shredded cabbage, carrots, and cucumber matchsticks.
Pour 3/4 of the peanut sauce over the noodle mixture and toss thoroughly with tongs until coated.
Top with chopped peanuts, toasted sesame seeds, sliced green onions, fresh cilantro leaves, and a glossy drizzle of extra chili crisp over the top. Serve with lime wedges on the side.